


sehnsucht.

by bledstars



Series: Claudeleth Week 2020 [4]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, Claudeleth Week, F/M, Fluff, Modern AU, Pining, Reincarnation, Reunion, Soulmates, Yearning, claudleth in every route....even the ones that make me sad., they loved each other in every route...in every way...they just love each other.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:15:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28099056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bledstars/pseuds/bledstars
Summary: With crimson flowers dancing across the field, she saw him fall.Under an azure moon, she felt an emptiness that could never be filled.Standing on top of silver snow, she stared at the horizon, all alone.As the verdant wind ran through her hair, she was home.And when she took his hand, she felt complete.Prompt: Reunion/Pining
Relationships: My Unit | Byleth/Claude von Riegan
Series: Claudeleth Week 2020 [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1851031
Comments: 6
Kudos: 78





	sehnsucht.

**Author's Note:**

> Sehnsucht, a German noun translated as "longing", "desire", "yearning", or "craving"

With _crimson flowers_ dancing in the wind, she saw him fall.

Life is a series of choices that are made. That’s all it is, choosing between what to do and what not to do. She chose to teach the Black Eagles. She chose to stay by Edelgard’s side. She chose to fight the church. Because it was the church that hid secrets from her. Secrets about her mother, secrets about her birth, secrets that hurt people. 

Never once did Byleth claim to be a hero. She never claimed to be a savior. She never craved to have that sort of title. She was a mercenary and her father had taught her to always follow her gut instincts. And from the pages that held her father’s writing now burnt and destroyed, she knew that she could not trust the Church. He told her to not trust Rhea with his final breath. So how could she stay by her side? How could she when the eyes of the peaceful leader turned cold and angry. Calling her a failure, with a look that was full of hatred and disgust 

She never regretted her choice, until that day at Derdriu. Across the battlefield, she saw him. She saw him with his dark locks flying in the wind as he sat on his wyvern. She saw him and she felt something in her heart and soul call out to him. She did not understand it, but she listened to the way her gaze went to him, watched him. Not to harm him but to make sure he was safe. She called out to her comrades, telling them not to strike him down. 

His green eyes looked so tired as he tried to be strong. Byleth knew that the Empire was strong, she also knew that the students she had taught were simply better fighters. He had grown so much, maybe not in stature but in his eyes. They looked mature. They looked weary. They looked like a man who was using his last move. She knew those emerald eyes so well.

They were the same eyes that looked at her when she hid herself away in the corner of the library. A playful smile before he gestured to the board in front of him. “Want to play, Teach?” He said with a playful smile, that didn’t quite reach his eyes but were sincere enough for her have her glance at him from over her book. “I promise I’m more interesting than the teachings of Naga.” 

The look in his eyes, full of life, full of mischief, it intrigued her like it did when she first met him. She closed the book before sliding into the seat across from him. She looked at the board, the game already started before he began placing the pieces back on the board. 

“You know, I still wish you chose my house to teach. There is nothing wrong with Professor Manuela, it’s just…I wish it was you.” He said as he made his first move and placed the piece on the board. “But do you..Do you like being the Black Eagle’s professor?” 

“The students are very kind and wanting to learn. if that’s what you are asking.” 

“That’s not the same as liking the job. If you…” 

“It’s a bit too late to be regretful of my choice, Claude.” 

“Well..That’s true.” He said with a chuckle and looked down to see the strange move that Byleth had chosen to take. “It was just…The mock battle really showed how more you know about actual battle tactics…You have actual experience in that sort of field and I can’t help but feel jealous of the students of the Empire in having you as their professor. They will be far better off in the case of a war.” 

“I hope it never comes to that.” 

“Yeah..I would hate to be in a war with you not by my side.” There was a quiet peace between the two of them as they played. 

They were not as close as they could have been. But she had begun to look forward to their weekly tea times and chess matches. She began to enjoy listening to Claude’s voice, filling her with a peace that she didn’t know she craved. He brought some normality and routine to her life and despite not being her student, she cared for him. When she caught him late at night practicing his swordsmanship, she stayed up with him to help with his posture and movement. While he may not be her student, she wanted him to have the best chance of survival. 

The light and life in his green eyes, she wanted to protect it to the best of her abilities. But as she saw him fall, the fatal arrow piercing through his chest in that battle, she wanted to turn back time but she couldn’t. And even if she could she knew that nothing would change, she had made her choice and that meant that Edelgard would make the same one as she did countless times. Claude endangered the vision that the Empire desired. As she watched him fall from a height that no one could survive. As she stared at his broken body, she felt her chest constrict. This wasn’t supposed to end like this. 

Falling to her knees, she moved a piece of his brown hair away from his face. Looking at the green eyes that was that were shining with the last strands of his life, she wanted to apologize but what words could possibly convey her regrets. As he gave her a flimsy smile, he strained to put a hand over hers. “Build a better world…Teach.” He whispered low before he took his final breath and she felt cold. 

Under an _azure moon_ , she felt an emptiness that could never be filled. 

She never wanted to be the archbishop. She never wanted to be the head of the church. She never wanted any of this. The way they looked at her, expecting her to be something great, expecting her to take on the role with ease. A role that she was forced into rather than being asked. 

“Your grace.” Snapping her out of her daze, she looked to her right to see Seteth, concern written all over his face as his brows furrowed, his frown deep. “Maybe we should take a break.The Archbishop has yet to have lunch.”

“Profes— _Archbiship_ Byleth. Are you okay?” She turned to see Annette look at her with a worried expression

“I’m fine.” She said with a soft smile that began getting more difficult as time went by.She tilted her head only to be strained by the weight of the crown on top of her head. The intricate hairstyle that pulled and pinched at her scalp. “I just haven’t eaten. If you don’t mind, I will be taking my meal in my quarters.”

Blinking rapidly trying to rid her mind of the haze that seemed to shroud it. She hadn’t been sleeping well. Waking up in the middle of the night with nightmares or concerns on if she wasn’t doing her role properly. She would wake up and light a new candle to study on the proper manners of an archbishop. A role she was not prepared for. A role she never wanted. 

She felt unlike who she was before. She did not feel strong. She did not feel like she had a plan on her next course of action. She would stare at her reflection in the mirror and see someone that looked more like a puppet, maybe even a doll. She began looking more like Rhea and she hated it. She hated how she looked and felt older than she actually was. She hated how heavy her bones felt with all the responsibilities that seemed to weigh down on her shoulders. She hated how everyone told her that she was doing a great job, when she felt like she was failing. How she was taking on the role with ease, it was not easy. They looked at her with pride and she felt even more burdened to know that she could not let them down. 

She could not reveal how she had an escape plan ready for her to leave Fodlan. To abandon her position and to run away like she so desired. She had her sword, her father’s diary, a map, and some clothes that would make her look as unassuming as she could.But even she knew that the plan had flaws. For one, she didn’t even have a place to go. The moment she vanished, it would rise a riot, break apart the fragile state that the country was in. She had a responsibility to protect this land. 

“You should rest, Archbishop.” The sweet voice of Mercedes broke her out of her thoughts. “I’ll brew you some tea to help you sleep.” Nodding slowly, she stood from her seat and she heard the quick sounds of chairs scratching down the floors and everyone bowing to her as she left the room. 

All she needed was some rest. Yes, that would be good. Just a few minutes to catch her breath. A few minutes to get rid of this haze in her mind. She just needed some time. How ironic, that she, who could turn back time, stop time, was the goddess’ host, felt like time was not on her side. 

Sleep and rest had never been easy for her either. She could feel her entire body in pain, as if it was being pulled and torn apart by some unknown force. She felt this more clearly when she did a divine pulse. There was no need to use that ability when it was a time of peace. Yet, she still felt it, especially when she was alone and let her guard down. It was suffocating and she did not know what to do. She couldn’t call out to Sothis for help, because there would be no answer. The stress of the crown, the burden of keeping a fragile country together, the demand of being an archbishop was overwhelming her.

But Dimitri needed her to take on the role. Her students looked to her and said there was no other that could possibly hold up the weight of the world like she could. But she was so tired. Byleth felt so empty. As she was alone in her room, she took off the headpiece and placed it on the vanity. She let the heavy dress she wore fall onto the floor, pooling around her ankles. Now only in her slip, she fell on top of the bed. 

Trembling hands clenched the bedsheets tightly, she knew she was alone, she knew that she could simply scream into a pillow, let out her frustrations, but she couldn’t. She wouldn’t even know where to start. She had to be strong. She had to be a beacon of hope, a rock to stand upon, she had to be like Rhea. “I never wanted this.” She whispered quietly, almost like a child as she let sleep take her. 

She did not know how long she had slept but as she woke up and saw the night sky, she slowly slid out of bed. She stared at the cold meal. Grabbing the robe, she wrapped it around herself before heading out to the balcony to get a breath of fresh air. She stared at the cold moon that greeted her before leaning against the edge. 

She wished her father was here, he would have gotten her out like he did before when she was a babe. She wished her mother was here, though she never met her, she could practically feel her mother’s comforting warmth. How her mother would tell her that she could cry, that she could scream, that she could feel however she wished and it would not be her fault. Her mother who she wished she would have lived so she did not have to feel the weight of the crest stone that heated against her chest. If she had her mother, she wouldn’t have been expected to be all of this. 

Then there was someone else. Someone that left her behind with the winds of freedom blowing through his hair. She wondered if he remembered her. She stared at the full moon and wondered if he sometimes stared up and thought of her.He had left for another country, another place, and she wished she asked him to take her with him. If she had known the burden that would come at the end of the war, she would have taken his hand and never looked back. 

She curled into herself and shook her head. That would be selfish. Her students needed her. Dimitri needed her. She could not abandon them. But that didn’t stop her wants and desires that echoed into her unbeating chest. How she wished to see his warm smile that would easily make her own lips lift. How he would have softly whispered into her ears, jokes about the Lord that was approaching and she would feel less awkward. When he held her hand, she would feel weightless, she’d feel like she could take on anything. When he called her name, she wouldn’t feel so cold and in pain all the time.

Standing on top of _silver snow_ , she stared at the horizon all alone. 

_Missing in battle._ That was all she was told and she felt her heart sink and from that moment on, she never felt the same. She stared at tassels they found on the battlefield, the pompoms coated with dirt and blood. She stared at the how this was the last thing left of him, the last thing he left behind. 

“Are you sure?” She asked again, her voice breaking slightly as she looked at Shamir who nodded her head slowly. “Okay. Thank you for telling me. I’ll…I’ll like to be left alone now.” She whispered softly before she turned away and walked away from everyone. 

Her footsteps felt heavy as she walked through the snow covered academy. Heavy as she walked up the steps that led up to the goddess tower. Heavy as she tried to recall if she saw him fall or if she saw him escape. Her memory failed her as she tried to remember if she saw the dark haired man survive or not. 

“Teach.” She heard the echoes of his voice as she stood on top of the tower and looked around. “Fancy seeing you up here all by yourself. It’s not even for a randevu to make a wish to the goddess.” His teasing voice made her spirits lift and she felt herself smiling before she could stop herself.  


“It’s quiet here.” She replied softly as he approached her and they looked at the sun rising over the horizon together in silence. “i didn’t take you for being a morning bird.” 

“I didn’t sleep.” He said honestly as he played with the snow that gathered on the railings of the rooftop, letting the white powder fall between his fingers. “Couldn't sleep, actually.” 

“Studying for exams?” 

A low chuckle as he turned to look at her with a soft gaze and shook his head. “More like…” Sighing, he rubbed the back his neck and at that moment, Byleth realized how young Claude was. While his playful mannerisms often hid it, there was a deep maturity in his eyes. Someone that understood war, the consequences of it, and the aftermath that followed. He was someone that pretended to be less intelligent or aware than he actually was.But at that moment, with his sheepish smile, almost embarrassed way he held himself, she saw the boy that hid behind the smile that did not reach his eyes. “I…feel like I’m running out of time…That if I don’t use every second I can….that I won’t be able to reach my goal..that my dream…will just be a dream.” 

A beat of silence as she processed his words before she crossed her arms and shuffled her feet. “You don’t have to do it alone.” 

“Hmn?” 

Her blue eyes lifted and caught his gaze and she gave him a small smile. “You aren’t alone. You can ask for help…you can ask someone to be a part of your dream. To stay by your side and make it come true. ” 

“Are you offering to stay by my side?” There it was again, the playful, teasing mask that he insisted on wearing. To keep people far enough so that he wouldn’t be hurt when they were no longer there. “You didn’t even pick the Golden Deers as a class, Teach.” 

“The Golden Deers did not need my help.” 

“I beg to differ.” 

“They have you.” 

She played with the snow and pressed some of it in her palm, crafting a small snow ball before tossing into the air. “Would you want me by your side?” 

“You know that answer to that.” 

“Do I?” She said with a small smile before she threw the snowball to hit his chest. “I suppose it does make sense tactically…especially after seeing your performance at the mock battle.” 

“Ouch, Teach.” He said with a chuckle and as the run rose and the red and yellow beams reflected off the white snow, she noticed the gold flecks in his eyes. “No one…likes being alone…Not even people like us.” The gentle smile that he gave her was enough to have her breath catch at the back of her throat. 

“Claude?” She winced at the bright light of the sun that blinded her sight and as she shielded her eyes. But when she opened her eyes, half expecting to see him there, she was greeted with nothing but white snow and her own shadow. A moment that felt so real, a voice that sounded so close, that she was lost in the memory. She listened to the crunch of the snow under her feet as she turned around over and over again. Searching for the man in her mind, the one that told her a truth that she could not admit even to herself.

That even she hated being alone.

“I’m alone now.” She whispered into the wind and stared at the rising sun. “I am without you…and it feels… _wrong._ ” Her voice broke and wrapped her arms around herself and let out a dry sob. “I don’t like the idea that you’re alone out there…I don’t like…we shouldn’t have left each other’s side…” The echos, the loneliness that overwhelmed her, she ran a hand through her hair. “Please…come back to my side…Please I don’t like being alone…” 

As the _verdant wind_ ran through her hair, she was home.

_He’s coming back._ She told herself as the months passed. She knew that he had a vision, a dream for this world. A world where boundaries and walls fell. A world where whether one had a crest or was crestless didn’t determine their worth. A world that would better than the one they grew up in. 

_He’s coming back._ She repeated as she whipped the Sword of Creator at an incoming attack. She knew that in her heart that he would return. She knew that he would keep his word. That he would keep his promise to her. She felt reassured by the glistening emerald that sat on her finger. Shining brightly under the sunlight, it reminded her of the color of his eyes. Pressing the stone to her lips, she lifted her eyes to the approaching enemy. “With everything I am.” 

Claude had never broken a promise to her before so she just needed to believe in him. 

They would meet again. He would come back to her. Their hearts were intertwined in ways that they could not describe. And while she was no one to believe in fate or destiny, she believed in him. She believed in his dream. She believed in his words. She believed in Claude. 

The sword felt heavy as she took another life. The red blood dripped from her silver blade, the color a contrast to the green meadows, to the green emerald ring that was now dirty. She was surrounded and outnumbered. She had to survive this. She had not seen him yet. She had not seen his dream come true. Too many lives lost for the sake of peace to simply abandon the idea now. 

A unified world where those that are different were not punished. A world that she wanted see by his side. The new dawn that they promised to each other, a peaceful and happy world that even Edelgard and Dimitri would be proud of. So, that those precious students could finally rest in peace knowing that the world was better.

But as Byleth stood in a defensive position, listening to the battle around her, she felt indescribable pain in her chest. She missed him. She missed Claude. She missed his smile. She missed his laughter. She missed his bright green eyes. A longing to be with him. She knew that she had to stay, the Foldan was too weak to stand on it’s own. That this place needed someone to lead them to a world that was dictated by crests and nobility. But she missed him. 

_“—EACH!”_ A familiar voice called out and soon soon an arrow struck an incoming enemy and then another and another. All of them a perfect kill shot. That was when she snapped her head up to see him, in his golden attire, looking at her on top of his white wyvern. The look of worry quickly vanishing as he jumped down from his flying partner and took out his own sword to attack an incoming lance wielder. “Don’t tell me your skills have gotten rusty! And here I thought Felix would have been pestering you for more spars.” 

“Claude?” Was she dead and was she hallucinating all of this? Or was he really here? Was he here, with his pack pressed up against hers, fighting along side her just as he always did. They matched each other’s attacks, she didn’t need to give him any orders cause he knew where she would go next. Ducking when she extended out the Sword of the Creator, before taking out an arrow and aiming for the mage before they could even utter a spell. 

A synchronization that was perfected from their time together. Fighting together, strategizing together, being together. A synchronization that didn’t change even with months of separation. Like time never passed and they were always by the other, they worked in tandem. 

She heard the thundering wings of the Almaryan Wyverns. Saw the colors of Almyra joining hands with the Foldan soldiers. She saw Hilda smiling as she worked with those that they used to fight against. This was the beginning of the new dawn that they spoke about. The new world they wanted to create. A partnership between two great kingdoms. 

“Did you miss me?” He exhaled with an almost cocky smirk when they finally got to the end of the battle. Both of them breathing heavily, both covered in dirt and blood. He ran a hand through his messy brown locks before he gave her a proper smile. She watched him, mint eyes that still couldn’t believe he was here. Coming just in time, making sure she was not alone when the world seemed to be against her. He came back to her. “Because I missed you.” 

And before he could even say another word, she had dropped the legendary sword and jumped into his arms. Dropping the relic in his hands, he caught her and wrapped his arms around her as she put both her hands on his face and kissed him.

_Home._ She thought quietly as she felt his arms tighten around her. She never had one when she was growing up. The wandering mercenary that went wherever the job called her to go. She didn’t have a place she could go to feel at peace, to feel safe. The academy, the church was never home for her. It was a place to stay, a place to work, a place to protect. But never her home. 

No, she never had a place that she called home, but she had a person. The man whose arms told her that he would not let her fall. That told her that he would catch her and make sure she could have at least one person she could always rely on the battlefield. As she felt his fingers spread against her lower back, she laughed against his lips. He was her home.

The home she yearned for when he was away. The home that she craved to be with. The home that was warm, that was safe, that was good. With a single smile, with a single kiss, he filled her cold body with warmth. When he brushed back her hair as he pulled away from her lips, his gaze full of love for her, she didn’t feel so alone in the world. When he leaned in to press his forehead against hers, his breath lightly touching her lips, she knew she made the right choice.

“I’m home.” He whispered to her and it made her chest clench and she wanted to cry again. But unlike before, it wasn’t tears of grief, it wasn’t tears of frustration, it wasn’t tears of regret. No, she wanted to cry because this was what true love must feel like. Even if she didn't have her own beating heart, she had him. The man who held her heart in his hands and protected it with all his strength. The one that she would always love, the one she would call home. 

“Yes…yes you are…” She whispered back before pulling his clothes to capture his lips once again. “Welcome home.” 

And when she took his hand, she felt complete.

Her blue eyes looked at the fish from behind the glass, watching as they played and swam. She checked on the condition of the coral in the tank before she moved onwards to the next.Touching the glass lightly, she turned to look at her green haired assistant with a small smile. “Flayn. Could you check on the condition of the jelly fish? Make sure the water saliency is optimal. I know that a few were getting sick.” 

“Of course, Professor Byleth.”The young girl smiled brightly at the head aquarist. Watching as the older woman pull out a pen from her white coat and begin tying up her blue hair with it. “You know that the aquarium will be just fine for a few weeks.” 

“I know that…I just..want to make sure everything is okay before I leave.”

“That’s a lie, she’s just a workaholic. I sometimes think she loves those fish more than she loves her dear husband.” A voice said and there he stood, the reason for her leave of absence. Turning around, she saw her husband walk down the steps and when he reached her, he held out a paper bag. “Hungry?” 

“Always. And I don’t love the fish more than you. I married you..not the fish.” She said before taking the bag and taking out the chocolate eclair and taking a bite. “Why are you even here? The day isn’t even done..and aren’t you busy with work.” 

“I finished it. I mean it’s not rocket science.” Claude said with a chuckle. 

“It literally is rocket science….You’re an aerospace engineer.” She deadpanned before taking another bite. 

“Okay..but I had other important things?” 

“Like being my delivery man? I mean it is an important job..especially since the reason why I’m so hungry is your fault.” 

“Excuse you. It takes _two_ to tango…or at least..make something so precious.” He said with a large grin before he gently put a hand on her growing bump. “Hello there, little star.” Claude’s tone was warm and when he felt the baby kick against his hand, his smile grew larger. “And yes, the more important thing is making sure my very pregnant wife actually takes her maternity leave.” 

“What did you think I’d just give birth and then go off to take care of the sharks?” 

“Yes. I do see that happening.” 

A small pout as she finished her donut and realized there was nothing left. “Okay…but if you’re gonna take me home so early, at least let me get my things from the office. Flayn you know where everything is now and all you have to do is make sure no one dies.” 

“That is a tall ask…” 

“I mean…you can always call me if you need my help.”  


“No, she can not. You will be resting and resting and did I mention resting.” 

“Can I also be eating?” 

“Do you think I’m a monster who would let my pregnant wife starve?” 

“Well..you only bought one donut.” 

“We have a dinner reservation…Byleth please don’t tell me...” 

“Donuts and dinner are two different things!”   
  
Laughing low, he took her hands in his and she smiled at the perfect way they fit together. “Okay, we’ll get one more donut on the way home. But you know they say too much sugar isn’t a good thing.” 

“But mama wants it.” And that earned her a groan before he pulled her in to kiss her temple.

“I guess what mama wants, mama gets.” 

“See…This is how you get papa to do whatever you want, little star.” Byleth said with a grin before she leaned in to kiss his cheek. Her nose crinkling with joy as she felt his stubble against her lips. “I love you.” 

“I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Reunion/Pining. 
> 
> And this...piece that I've been working on for...months...like so many months....is finally finished! and it's so late...like I'm really gonna try to finish the 2020 prompts...before 2020 ends so please wish me luck. Anyways Byleth loving Claude despite not choosing the deers?? a personal fave. And just...I really love them..okay?? 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this fic! Let me know what you think and just thank you for reading!  
> You can find me on twitter @ bledstars


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